Pirate Ship Sinks Dismally

Illawarra Mercury

Thursday May 31, 2007

GLEN HUMPHRIES

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END (M)

Stars: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley

Director: Gore Verbinski

* 1/2

Screening at Greater Union Wollongong and Shellharbour,

Hoyts Warrawong, Gala Cinema and Roxy Cinema Nowra

The more Pirates films they make, the worse they get.

The original was a great fast-paced romp while the second was longer, slower and duller but still had a breath of fun about it.

The third is just a confusing mess that, at a ridiculous 168 minutes, is about a half-hour longer than the original. The writers ignore the fast-paced style that made the first film a hit and instead get so caught up in their own script that they add in a pile of mythology and a million storylines in a stupid attempt to give the film some depth.

Remember, we're talking about a film inspired by a ride at Disneyland. Trying to turn that into something serious is just ridiculous.

That's something the first film knew - it was a success simply because it was fast and funny. It kept all the exposition and back stories to a minimum and gave plenty of screen time to Depp's Jack Sparrow.

At World's End totally ignores those tenets: Sparrow gets much less screen time, every character seems to have some elaborate back story, and everything has suddenly become so serious.

I could explain the plot but, to do so would take up more space than I have here. And, besides, I'm not totally sure I understood it anyway. There are just so many stories running through the film and a tonne of characters who all have to be given lines that it's hard to keep track of what's going on.

That mass of storylines is the reason for the huge 168-minute run time. There's only one reason why a fictional film needs to be this long - the makers have lost all perspective on their work and think everything they come up with is genius.

It's not. In fact, there's at least one storyline (the one involving "Calypso" if you're curious) that could be totally excised from the film with no damage whatsoever, thereby saving at least 20 minutes. Cut out the first Sparrow scene - which is pretty to look at but serves no real purpose - and you save a bit more.

Cut back every scene that revolves around Will (Bloom) and Elizabeth (Knightley) and you'd save even more. This pair of actors are utterly bland and their ineptness in the acting profession shows every time either of them share a scene with Depp, Rush or Bill Nighy (who plays Davy Jones). Besides, who ever cared about their characters anyway?

If the aim of the writers and director was to kill off any remaining goodwill garnered from the original Pirates film, they've succeeded.

© 2007 Illawarra Mercury

Back to News Index | Back to Home